I’ve got my share of regrets. Some I earned the hard way, some are just what happens when life goes how it goes.

On certain days they sit there like unpaid bills. On better days they feel more like scribbled notes in the margin: “Maybe don’t do that again if you can avoid it.” Sitting in regret and replaying the same scenes doesn’t really help. It just chews up the time you’ve got left.

There is some use in paying attention to it, though. If you can look at what happened, own your part, and shift direction even slightly, then the regret’s done something useful. If you can’t change it – and a lot of it you can’t – the only real option is to try not to run the same pattern again.

That’s about as close as you get to a sensible use for regret.